Two and a Half Men 2003 - ETTV Torrents

Two and a Half Men 2003

Comedy
2003 CBS
3.55 /5 Rating
Two and a Half Men 2003

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

TV Shows Info

  • Title: Two and a Half Men 2003
  • IMDB: tt0369179
  • TVDB: 72227
  • Seasons: 8

Download Two and a Half Men TV Show Torrents

Season 3

Episode 4 : Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

Download

480p 720p

Episode 7 : Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 9 : Madame and Her Special Friend

One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 10 : Something Salted and Twisted

Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 16 : Ergo, the Booty Call

Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 17 : The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 19 : Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 20 : Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 21 : And the Plot Moistens

Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 22 : Just Once With Aunt Sophie

A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.

Download

480p
Season 2

Episode 7 : A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 11 : Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 12 : A Lungful of Alan

Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 13 : Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 14 : Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospital. When Alan and Charlie show up at the hospital they aren't sure if she's faking, and try to call her bluff.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 15 : Smell the Umbrella Stand

Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 16 : Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 17 : Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a history with her that he can't remember. Berta is feed up with Jake's inability to use the bathroom properly, so she decides to make him clean it until he learns.

Download

480p 720p
Season 6

Episode 1 : Taterhead Is Our Love Child

In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend (Rena Sofer) and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : Pie Hole, Herb

Charlie borrowed money from Alan and on the day he is supposed to pay him back, Alan goes to ask Charlie for the money. He again finds Charlie in bed with a beautiful woman. After Charlie shoos him out and assures him he'll get the money for him later that day, the woman asks if Charlie is really out of cash and Charlie tells her not to worry, that he has plenty of hooker money.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Alan is sure that things will turn bad when Charlie starts dating his receptionist.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : A Jock Strap in Hell

Charlie tries to help Jake's former teacher, who became a stripper after dating him, but things go from bad to worse when she has a religious conversion.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : It's Always Nazi Week

When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdown.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Alan tries to get away from Judith. Meanwhile, Charlie and Herb go out on the town.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Pinocchio's Mouth

Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake initiated by Judith for mooning a group of girls.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : The Mooch at the Boo

Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore, while Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : The Devil's Lube

Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : Thank God for Scoliosis

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : I Think You Offended Don

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Melissa doesn't think Alan's family appreciates him, so she asks him to move in with her and her mom.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : I'd Like to Start with the Cat

Charlie ends up in couples counseling.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime

Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

Download

480p

Episode 17 : The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her

Download

480p

Episode 18 : My Son's Enormous Head

Chelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : The Two Finger Rule

After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

Download

480p

Episode 20 : Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.

Download

480p

Episode 21 : Above Exalted Cyclops

Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.

Download

480p

Episode 22 : Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Charlie mourns the loss of his bachelor pad as he reluctantly allows Chelsea to move in. Meanwhile, Alan discovers there is no longer much space left in the house for him.

Download

480p

Episode 23 : Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

Alan and Chelsea become best buds, and Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation.

Download

480p

Episode 24 : Baseball Was Better With Steroids

Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.

Download

480p
Season 1

Episode 1 : Pilot (Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal)

Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 2 : Big Flappy Bastards

While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, and Charlie gets very upset. This prompts Jake to try and get Charlie to forgive him. Alan starts doing chores for Judith, in the hopes of them getting back together. During one of the tasks, Judith kisses Alan, leading him to believe that things will get back to the way they once were.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 3 : Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

After spending a day at Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to his mothers' house, to have her take care of him. This sends Alan into a state of misery, as he realizes he's losing his wife, and son. Charlie suggests that they go drinking, and Alan agrees. After drinking the boys take a cab home, but at one point they end up at their mothers, where they try to tell her what they think of her, but fail in getting the point across.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 5 : The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump

After spending a night in Las Vegas, Charlie decides to live up to his promise that he made to Jake about attending his soccer game. During the game, Charlie sets up a play-date with an unattached mother named Kate, and they hit it off. During one of their dates, Charlie seems like he's ready for a serious relation. Alan sets up a meeting with Gloria (one of the soccer moms) to write a soccer newsletter, but Gloria has other intentions for the evening, and he has no idea. During the evening another soccer mom, Brooke, tries to move in on Gloria's plans.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 9 : Phase One, Complete

After meeting Wendy, a one-night stand of Charlies, Jake befriends her. Charlie doesn't like this situation, as he believes Wendy is using Jake to further their relationship, and he has no intention to keep it going. It gets to the point were Wendy even starts spending time with Evelyn, and Charlie becomes desperate to get rid of Wendy. After Charlie breaks it off Jake becomes very unhappy with him, because he won't be able to see Wendy anymore. This forces Charlie to confront Jake and explain the situation as best as he can. Rose sees that Alan knows how to play scrabble, and asks him to teach her to play, he agrees. During the scrabble games the two bond, and Charlie suspects that she is using Alan to get closer to him, but doesn't pursue the issue.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 11 : Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

While at the movies, the brothers bump into Judith and her new boyfriend. Seeing that Judith has changed her look, and the fact that Jake doesn't think Alan is as cool as Judith; prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he's going to have to change his look as well.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 20 : Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Judith believes that Jake is having a hard time dealing with his parent's divorce, after he starts annoying everyone with his non-stop guitar playing. So she suggests that they send Jake to a therapist. Alan doesn't agree at first, but after thinking about it, he believes it might not be such a bad idea.

Download

480p 720p
Season 4

Episode 1 : Working for Caligula

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle after Alan moves out of the house. Alan suffers a breakdown after his divorce from Kandi.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : Who's Vod Kanockers?

Charlie finally tells Alan the truth about why he did not marry Mia. Charlie and Alan deal with a noisy neighbour.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : A Pot Smoking Monkey

Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage may be derailed due to Jake’s dislike of his mother’s fiancé.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 6 : Apologies for the Frivolity

Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother’s.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 7 : Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Berta's daughter, Naomi, is pregnant and Berta drags Charlie with her when she confronts the baby’s father. Alan reveals a secret fetish.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Release the Dogs

Alan suffers from insomnia. He visits his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch), who reveals that the cause of Alan's sleepless nights is his jealousy towards Charlie, and his inability to glide through life.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Charlie gets tired of Alan's mooching and reaches the breaking point during the brothers' double date. Jake is left home alone for the first time.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : Kissing Abe Lincoln

Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : Walnuts and Demerol

Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : Castrating Sheep in Montana

Berta discovers that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Don't Worry, Speed Racer

When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (Brooke Shields)..

Download

480p

Episode 15 : My Damn Stalker

Rose is moving to London, and Charlie is surprised by his reaction to the news. Alan lies to a woman he met online.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : Young People Have Phlegm Too

Charlie's young, hot girlfriend takes him to a new club. She invites Alan to meet one of her friends but the men are shocked to learn that they are considered as being "old".

Download

480p

Episode 17 : I Merely Slept with a Commie

After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her funeral. Evelyn tries to prove them wrong by introducing them to a couple she help adopt a boy from China. The boys return fire by inviting the young man to a play date with Jake.

Download

480p

Episode 18 : It Never Rains in Hooterville

Alan tries to bond with Jake when he realizes that his childhood is almost over. Kandi pursues a career in acting.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : Smooth as a Ken Doll

Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.

Download

480p

Episode 20 : Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.

Download

480p

Episode 21 : Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Alan and Charlie re-examine their sexual identities after Alan befriends Greg, a gay man. Meanwhile, Jake has a crush on Greg's daughter.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 22 : Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Jake gets lucky after Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan has a difficult time at the DMV.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 23 : Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin

Charlie is shocked when the handyman working on his house beats him out for Chloe's affections. Alan has no sympathy for Charlie’s distress.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 24 : Prostitutes and Gelato

Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues'

Download

480p 720p
Season 7

Episode 1 : 818-JKLPUZO

Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : Whipped Unto the Third Generation

When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : For the Sake of the Child

Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : Give Me Your Thumb

Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : Untainted By Filth

Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : Warning, It's Dirty

Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, whose girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Yay, No Polyps!

Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : Crude and Uncalled For

Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : Tinkle Like a Princess

Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

Download

480p

Episode 17 : I Found Your Moustache

Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

Download

480p

Episode 18 : Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

Download

480p

Episode 20 : I Called Him Magoo

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

Download

480p

Episode 21 : Gumby with a Pokey

Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

Download

480p

Episode 22 : This Is Not Gonna End Well

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

Download

480p
Season 5

Episode 1 : Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Alan's ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : City of Great Racks

Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : Kinda Like Necrophilia

Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : Meander to Your Dander

When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : The Soil Is Moist

Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : Winky-Dink Time

Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : Rough Night In Hump Junction

Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.

Download

480p

Episode 17 : Fish in a Drawer

CSI's investigate a death at Charlie's house.

Download

480p

Episode 18 : If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : Waiting for the Right Snapper

When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.

Download

480p
Season 8

Episode 1 : Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Charlie is willing to do anything for Alan to accept Lyndsey's offer to move in with her.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : A Pudding-Filled Cactus

After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Springtime on a Stick

Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : A Good Time in Central Africa

When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

When Charlie's ex-girlfriend Courtney is released from prison, he treats her to the good life despite her having been in prison for conning him.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : Dead from the Waist Down

Alan goes to great lengths to be able to get Lyndsey a nice birthday present.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

Depressed after his breakup from Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch).

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup

Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : That Darn Priest

Rose and Alan discover each other's secrets. Meanwhile, Charlie's desperate to get some time alone with Rose.

Download

480p
Season 9

Episode 1 : Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : People Who Love Peepholes

Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : Nine Magic Fingers

Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : The Squat and the Hover

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Thank You for the Intercourse

When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : Frodo's Headshots

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : What a Lovely Landing Strip

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : A Possum On Chemo

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.

Download

480p

Episode 17 : Not in My Mouth!

A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem.

Download

480p

Episode 18 : The War Against Gingivitis

Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : Palmdale, Ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

Download

480p

Episode 20 : Grandma's Pie

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

Download

480p

Episode 21 : Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.

Download

480p

Episode 22 : Why We Gave Up Women

Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.

Download

480p

Episode 23 : The Straw in My Donut Hole

Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love and affection he receives upon his return from the hospital.

Download

480p

Episode 24 : Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Jake graduates and must decide what to do with his life.

Download

480p
Season 10

Episode 1 : I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : A Big Bag of Dog

Walden has a breakdown after his relationship with Zoey ends.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

A friend's visiting daughter makes Walden feel his age.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : Ferrets, Attack

Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : Avoid the Chinese Mustard

When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Something My Gynecologist Said

Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : I Scream When I Pee

Alans famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : One Nut Johnson

Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : Give Santa a Tail-Hole

Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : Welcome to Alancrest

Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Grab a Feather and Get in Line

Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : Run, Steven Staven! Run!

Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.

Download

480p

Episode 17 : Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough.

Download

480p

Episode 18 : The 9:04 from Pemberton

After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.

Download

480p

Episode 20 : Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.

Download

480p

Episode 21 : Another Night with Neil Diamond

Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.

Download

480p

Episode 22 : My Bodacious Vidalia

With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

Download

480p

Episode 23 : Cows, Prepare to be Tipped

Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip.

Download

480p
Season 11

Episode 1 : Nangnangnangnang

Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (Carl Reiner).

Download

480p

Episode 3 : This Unblessed Biscuit

When Berta hurts her back at work, Alan and Walden think she should retire.

Download

480p

Episode 4 : Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her; Walden begrudgingly agrees to invite Lynda over for dinner.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.

Download

480p

Episode 8 : Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's (Melanie Lynskey) help.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!

Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : Tazed In the Lady Nuts

Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee (Odette Annable) on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice about her girlfriend (Aly Michalka).

Download

480p

Episode 12 : Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Lyndsey's boyfriend sets Alan up on a date; Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Bite Me, Supreme Court

Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : Three Fingers of Creme De Menthe

Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Alan asks Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.

Download

480p

Episode 16 : How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).

Download

480p

Episode 17 : Welcome Home, Jake

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.

Download

480p

Episode 18 : West Side Story

Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

Download

480p

Episode 19 : Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).

Download

480p

Episode 20 : Lotta Delis In Little Armenia

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

Download

480p

Episode 21 : Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot

Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a road trip.

Download

480p

Episode 22 : Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Download

480p
Season 12

Episode 1 : The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Following a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides to reprioritize his life with Alan's help.

Download

480p

Episode 2 : A Chic Bar in Ibiza

When Walden asks Alan to sign a pre-nup, Alan gets offended and has second thoughts about getting married.

Download

480p

Episode 3 : Glamping in a Yurt

Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Lyndsey returns after 60 days in rehab.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 4 : Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.

Download

480p

Episode 5 : Oontz, Oontz, Oontz

Walden becomes a foster parent to a 6-year-old boy, but worries about himself when they don't hit it off like he hoped.

Download

480p

Episode 6 : Alan Shot a Little Girl

Alan breaks Walden's rules when he realizes that Louis thinks he's cool, and he wants it to stay that way.

Download

480p

Episode 7 : Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids’ gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Alan goes out for a girls’ night with a group of moms.

Download

480p 720p

Episode 8 : Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey

Alan and Walden attempt to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real.

Download

480p

Episode 9 : Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women when his foster son, Louis, is in the house. Also, Herb asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey.

Download

480p

Episode 10 : Here I Come, Pants!

Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker discovers he and Walden are not really a gay couple.

Download

480p

Episode 11 : For Whom the Booty Calls

Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.

Download

480p

Episode 12 : A Beer Battered Rip-Off

When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it will affect Louis’ adoption.

Download

480p

Episode 13 : Boompa Loved His Hookers

Walden fears if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.

Download

480p

Episode 14 : Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun

After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

Download

480p

Episode 15 : Of Course He's Dead (1)

Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?

Download

480p